I have to be prepared to take what I need/want.
Pre grad consisted of professors lecturing at me while i stumbled around tryin to make sense of it all, enough that I could spew it back in an acceptable form to pass the class.
Grad school makes the subltle shift to you becoming the teacher and a true seeker of knowledge. There is no more holding hands or gentle nudges in a direction. You are required to ask the questions then nudge yourself. That sort of ownerism came late to me and is coming hard (phrasing lol)
my military background has me used to being told what to do despite a fierce independent streak.
Now I am forcing myself to actively take charge of my life, late in the game though it is.
I am learning so much. Aescetism and decadence are like lights going off. I see the world for what is it is and differently at the same time.
I see the mental games we play with ourselves as a society and as individuals. My goal now is a constant attempt to not sleep thru things anymore. To be "aware" as I can be at all times, to what I am doing and why. It's trickling down to my writing, if not on a line by line basis at least in its essence.
My professor has been on my ass about grammar. The old me would have checked that bitch on the spot! Even considered chokin the shit out of her. The core of the story is what's important, there are people who get PAID to correct grammar right?
Right, but you have to get your work to the people for that to happen. Just when I was about to go off for her frontin on me in class she said something that made me hold my tongue.
"Editors have stacks of manuscripts on their desks. They're just looking for a reason to reject you. Why give them one?"
Damn! What the hell can you say to logic like that?
So I'm workin the line by lines just like she said. Why? Cause I'm gone git mine! Lol
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