21Nov18 Blocked? Maybe...

This story, SMH, I've covered the struggle so much even I'm tired f hearing it. Quit? the idea is never far from my thoughts. but, it will never defeat me. I will see it crushed and made humble by the slashing edge of my pen, by the sheer effort of my iron will!

As you've probably guessed, I'm blocked.

I mean kind of blocked.

I started the whole NOWRITMO thing full of fire and drive, wanting to fill those pages with text and damn the editing. I realize now this is not nor has it ever been my writing style. Writing down everything that comes into your head for cutting down later into usable material feels nonproductive to me. I am a write pages correct pages, correct those pages the next day kind of guy. Lesson learned.

Having achieved such miraculous insight i still wasn't happy with anything coming out. I would stare at text then delete it. This story has refused to do what I want for years. I have my outline, know where it's going; I should be hitting the marks and sending this baby home.

The problem was I envisioned deep introspective characters with fascinating back stories, clever subtext that makes the reader come back again and again for new insights missed on the first read. In short i was over thinking; bogged down in the details. I'd forgotten the number one rule which is to entertain.

I am tempted to blame higher education. I was warned my style and tastes would change those chickens may have come home to roost. But that's some weak shit. My education is more a blessing. The problem is my ego. I started seeing it as a story again and not some work of art and the words began to flow forth. I still re-write the previous days pages and once the project is done numerous re-writes of those pages are ahead but i remember why I'm doing it now.