6nov15

Too drunk to write tonight. I have failed. I wrote earlier and am happy with the work done but it's not enough. Wanting to write but not being able to focus enough sucks. I have to get stronger mentally. Stop the mental whining and stand up. The writing doesn't care about your heart, your longings, it only wants its needs met. 

I obey.

03now15 updates

Did the GRE today; horrible at the math but fine with everything else. Now I only need to get those scores to the school and hope the loan people don't fuck up my plans.

But even if they do, they can't fuck up all of them.

I'm a writer. It's taken me about thirty years to realize this but it's so.

They can't take that away.

I'm back to chipping at the second Hang story. I'm obsessed with finishing what I start even though I'm tired of it. To not do so feels like quitting and I'm too old for that. I need to make better choices though. The clock is ticking and there are things I want to finish before the end. The Priest saga being one of them.

30oct2015 updates

I just finished the, oh I don't know, thirtieth rewrite on the Priest story.

It's as good as I can get it for now despite my seeing all the details it still needs.

I have to move on. Nowritmo is upon my and I want to take a run at it with a secqual to the Joba story.

Have registered for the spring and the masters program in English. Excited to be on the path again.

I had to decide weither to concentrate on non fiction or fiction. I felt I haven't come all this way to write about other people's work. I'll write my own.

16Oct15

Some updates.

I been working on the drifting priest for he past week or so. I have it on watt pad and found I can edit the piece online. I'd reread it after a few months and saw much that needed improving and since I want to use it as my submission piece for grad school I want it as good as it can be.

Part of me feels like it's a cop out as. Have plenty of other pieces needin my attention. Still, it makes me happy and its progress.

09Oct15 today

Yeah yeah yeah, the writing shot is still goin on. But I wanna bitch a little, whine even, about love.

We spend our whole lives practically seeking it. Then we get it and it sucks! Oh it's sweet for awhile. You float around high on a drug you can't buy for any price thinking "finally!"

Then reality sets in. You find it rarely goes both ways and if it does it rarely has longevity. Frequently you end up alone lost in the cycle of does she really love me or am I fulfilling a need.

It ends in pain so often that I wonder why God hard wired us to even feel it. People would be so much happier with a simple contract stating their needs and the things they will not tolerate.  That would work splendidly for a couple in agreement, but usually it's a one sided thing. He loves her she kinda loves him. He loves her she loves some of the things he does and he's no trouble. You catch my meaning.

I'm just bitching. No one shall be named and I hate that I even felt desperate enough to have to resort to voicing it here. Still...

Thank you for listening.

4Oct15

Read a writer's advisory today. It reminded me of the mantra I'd been living by the past year concerning my own writing.

"Finish what you start!"

That was the core of it. Funny how easily you can slip off the path. The author pointed out how new ideas come constantly, frequently in the middle of other projects. Fresh and new the can tempt you away possibly starting a cycle. I've been doing that all this week with me working the new story instead of finishing the Hang story.

I'm back on that tonight.

30Sep15

Still at work on various projects. I'm striving to finish all of them but the enthusiasm lags after a time.

Working on the piec I want to finish before I die. It is the most challenging I've tried. In the early stages but the structure is coming together.

Not concerned withurning sixty anymore. Too many other things to do. University of New Orleans is sponsoring a get together for people interested in their masters of fine arts program for English.

It's god talking to me. Time to get back to work do I'll be there. Still need the three letters from my professors but I'll bite the bullet and get them.