update also

Sitting at the dinner table cooking steaks in the oven and listening to christmas music, trying to get into the spirit. Its kind of getting there.
Otis redding. the pogues the ramones. all good stuff. kind of dark but thats ok. at least im not wallowing in deprression. Oh i have things to be depressed about. i could list them but to hell with them today and tonight. I pay too much homage to them most days and what do they give me in return? shit thats what.
so tonight its just the good stuff.
delusional? you bet!

The return of the king

Am watching the above titled movie at the moment. I am well aware that this is a work of fiction but I am still amazed by the power of this particular film. Oh not the production quality and things like that. No. I refer instead to its sheer power to inspire.
It makes you proud to just be human, a part of this great thing that is man when he chooses to be so. I was moved to tears and this is of course not my first viewing.
Perhaps I'm just emotionally unstable these days ( smile)

nice

A nice day. Much like yesterday. I am thankful for all i have and less bitter about the things i dont.
Son brought his girlfriend who was nice despite the ups and downs they have been going though.
Food was nice. Family get together was nice.
I guess what im saying is it was...nice. lol

When"s my turn?

    A good day. Have my grandson and his Mini Chew wa wa all day. He is a bright light to me even though he's kind of out grown his gumpa now. (smile)

    I'm mellow and centered. Not fighting with anyone today for the first time in what feels like weeks. Things feel..right Thanksgiving will be fun. Fried turkey and crab/shrimp/sausage stuffing. enough said lol. Will pig out then take a nap. life doesn't get any better.

   i am thankful for all the things i have and the people in my life. I hope for more understanding but I'm seeing things from my perspective and possibly not the reality of some things. I am trying to do whats best for me though. I've had a lifetime of doing whats best for others. Whens my turn?

quick writing contest

terrible minds had a writing contest where you have one word to use as a topic or piece of the story that had to be created with only 100 words.
The choices were frog powder seagull tower or scissors.
i chose powder. Here it is.
It was quite fun by the way. (smile)

    the woman screamed, waves of pain crashing over her. Her arms, had been sliced bare, striped like bacon.
    the man behind the fool's mask methodically sprinkled a grey powder into her wounds. He was mumbling "for Rachael" over and over.
    Her pain began to deaden after that Her wounds seemed to heal before her eyes and she felt detached as her thoughts floated.
    Another  man was approaching now from a good distance clothed in black blotting out the light. The image looked familiar, particularly the thing in his hand.There was no face. just a cloak, a skull, and a scythe.

Spicy Hawaiian pizza and football. Not the raiders which would rule,but the packers which are not uncool. My mod is bright and for the most part things seem alright in my world today.

today

Consumed with gloom. (smile)
Alas another one of those dark moods threatening to ruin everything despite the sunshine.
Im fighting today though. Plan to go out and make myself do something...nice, for me.

Going to buy me some guitar strings. My guitar has been catching dust beside the couch next to me for years now. Lately i have been listening to music again though and the urge to play has come back. My goals seem much clearer now. Its for the pure visceral joy of playing as opposed to the ego strokes i sought so vigerously in my youth.
I have been listening to Patty Griffin and she's completely reinspired me lol.
i plan to learn her songs and just walk around at home playing girl folk songs out loud.
I think my deep broken voice wil add a certain charm to her sad songs.
been listening to Dylan too. Im so folked out these days lol.
anyway. wanting to keep things kind of updated here so ive accomplished that much at least today. (smile)

twilight

No not the gay movie series. The actual time of day. It had always been my favorite time. Even as a kid i used to just sit and look as the day wound down. feel the calm that seems to settle over everybody as it dawns on them that work is done and they are home. Having beers, watching tv or the kids. Hell, just happy to be out of that place for a few hours. it just always felt perfect to me, like the night was just getting ready to embrace me and make me welcome.
I dont pay much attention to them anymore. Dont sit out in front of the house with a beer or a smoke. dont dream about what the night might hold once i get my ass out there. Still a bit of the old tingle hit me today. it felt nice. an old friend whispering the same words though farther away these days.

an alright day today. Apoligized to the ones who deserved it for my foul mood yesterday. Went to class to chip away at Jeckyll and Hyde but i was so tired from tossing and turning last night that i was only there physically.
baby boy is fine. Eating like a champ and hogging my I pad. things are back to normal.
wish i had more exciting things to pass on but nothing wrong with a calm day i guess.

Oh. i continue to labor at my various writing projects. I am so proud of myself! (smile)

night

Turns out grandson has strep throat or some variation there of. A car load of medication later he went home and is currently sleeping it off. He's still a great kid.
   Mood not so bright as last night. I seemed to have picked up baby boy's illness and its made me cranky and picky when it comes to loved ones. I guess he is my grandson lol.

    No calming Ricki Lee tonight. Just a few whacks at the story and then to bed and Jekyll and Hyde.
almost finished with it then a few death poems for my Brit lit final.
good stuff (smile)

Pooder has been sick for the last four days or so. Im pretty sure it's a flu type thing goin on. Plan to take him to the doctors in a few. He is such a cool kid. i hate it when he's sick. he just clings and whines and well, kind of like his gumpa does all the time lol.
He is smart and good and gives an old man joy by his mere exsistence.

No sun today or not much so far and its as hot and sticky as ever currently watching my son play skyrim. beautiful graphics. I am struggling to resist buying the game for myself. would take up way too much time what with star wars coming out in a couple of months.damn. looks good though.

night

Listening to Ricki Lee Jones. She makes me feel good. She soothes the rage the roams around inside me for no real reason sometimes. Makes my mind shut up and listen. Listen to the pure beauty of an artist singing from the heart. When it rings true you imagine they sing because it would be impossible for them to do anything else. as if god commanded "here you are. this is what you will do." it descourages me that truely talented people labor in relative obscurity while the packaged form that passes for art today is shoved down the throat of the masses who willingly comsume it, too fat and lazy to put in the effort of actually tracking down something different, new. This from a card carrying fat bastard lol.

Im allowing myself to be happy tonight. Im allowing myself to indulge in the illusion i am loved and wanted and needed. Now i know these things are true. i look around me and see the evidence daily and i greatly appreciate my loved ones. i just dont feel it sometimes. its a sickness in me i guess. but not tonight.
tonight i am loved and it feels fine.

other beginnings

The westbank warder page was originally created for New Orleans type things. More Specifically the Westbank of new Orleans. it will be going back to its original purpose.
   This page will be for my personal musings and opinions and notes and pieces of stories and anything else i wanna put here. I have been the fool for years and never noticed. I blindly continue to believe and have faith, even brandish my ever present smile while doing it. why not simply embrace the title? (smile)
   so here he is. as befitting my foolish image my intentions are always good. hopefully the page will reflect that.