Listening to Ricki Lee Jones. She makes me feel good. She soothes the rage the roams around inside me for no real reason sometimes. Makes my mind shut up and listen. Listen to the pure beauty of an artist singing from the heart. When it rings true you imagine they sing because it would be impossible for them to do anything else. as if god commanded "here you are. this is what you will do." it descourages me that truely talented people labor in relative obscurity while the packaged form that passes for art today is shoved down the throat of the masses who willingly comsume it, too fat and lazy to put in the effort of actually tracking down something different, new. This from a card carrying fat bastard lol.
Im allowing myself to be happy tonight. Im allowing myself to indulge in the illusion i am loved and wanted and needed. Now i know these things are true. i look around me and see the evidence daily and i greatly appreciate my loved ones. i just dont feel it sometimes. its a sickness in me i guess. but not tonight.
tonight i am loved and it feels fine.
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