today

No new, mind blowing insights today on the walk I searched and searched but found myself falling back into the same old selfish patterns Seeking confirmation or affirmation from someone who fails to acknowledge your needs over and over again is crazy. Many people have told me that in the past
and Wendy in particular stands out for being the most recent among other reasons. Finding it difficult to be the wise one today i simply pushed the subject aside and concentrated on my walk.
    The heat and humdity is draining. The sweat simply sits on the skin undisturbed by any breeze as its non exsistant. It is a good kind of tired It fatigue burns the wasteful thoughts from the forfront, forces you to focus on the present. In a  more positive frame i realize I am accomplishing all the goals I set for myself this summer, to get in shape, work on my spanish, write more and better and to work my guitar.
    All of those seem to be things I have control over The emotional stuff I still try to control like an idiot but fail miserably. At least i recognize my problems as small, possibly thats why im not rushing to get a handle on them. Mood seems good. I'm...calm.